Thursday, October 14, 2010


She was born this way. Of course she did like to see, but currently it was not possible. But the best she could do now was not to get swayed by feelings of sel-pity and get depressed. So what if she could not see? She knew she could feel everything better than everyone around her, she know when her mom expects something from dad but he does not notice, when seema wants to be left alone but dad does not get it, or how the room was about to erupt but stood with silence when Uncle Rakesh spoke for the first time about his divorce, she got this things instinctively. But during other times when people spoke about things around her, dresses of people, TV, internet (i cant believe all the information in the world can be made available on any gadget - a gadget itself was imaginary for her, but then she had vivid imagination) and the changing colour of seasons. That above all, the changing colours of seasons depressed her a lot, maybe because she could smell the change but couldnt see it, so at those times she usually unsuccessfully tried to change the topic.

Dad was always supportive of her and seemed to treat her almost as if she had no problems. Luckily they were well heeled and she got the latest hearing aids and went to a good school for blind people and also had a private braille tutor at home. She was a diligent student and absorbed everything that was thrown at her. She had a soothing voice and had a lot of friends in
the blind school. She loved school, everybody was like her and they spent long hours together what each other felt as people in the normal world (she did not understand it, but she always thought she was abnormal, but couldnt lay a finger on why that was the case) talked about different things. Things that they could touch were easy, apple, phone, book they were able to learn remember and appreciate, but things like countries, universe, physics (why would anyone want to learn what goes beneath what you can see?) etc... and culture. There was the culture of her world were things were imagined and there was this culture of the normal world thats all there was to it right? Her world views were simple and sufficient: If you can see things how can you misunderstand?

Medical technology has made amazing strides in the recent years. They had found a new way of treating people like her and they were going to try the new method on her, her dad told her. The operation was successful and she needed about a week to open her eyes. Slowly she came to terms with the new world, everyday was a new experience in what she could see. She understood that they were not that well to do and Dad had spent a fortune on her, she saw that countries had boundaries which people did not really understand, she understood physics to be the challenge of understaning movement she understood that culture was what each person sees and hence the misunderstanding, she understood that universe was expanding for no particular reason than that it was. What she did not understand that there seemed to be no one like her, she could not connect with anyone. No, one would talk about everything under the earth freely, giving shape to what they have heard and seen and coming to terms with the perceptions of each other. She seemed to hit a wall with people. Almost as if people decide that at some point they cannot allow someone to see further inside. Initially she was the hightlight of everyplace she went.

The person who had begun to see recently, everybody wanted to talk to her, to know how the world appeared to her, but soon she realized that it was just a novelty factor and most people were not really interested in what she saw or thought. Even those who were interested, interpreted what she tought of things in some theory that they saw fit. Men especially, their understanding was so narrow she thought, she could lead their thought process anywhere and they would follow. Women understood her better, so she spent a lot of time talking to women. About men, about dressing, aoout their lives and struggles everything, but at some point she always hit a wall.

The more she saw, the more lonely she felt. The soothing nature of her voice was gone and she felt a strong attack of self-pity. It was better in the normal world.

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